Calcification, revisited

[furtech]

I once made a post about “calcification”. This is the transition of a person from having a fannish sense-of-wonder to a mundane with only a sense-of-rent (or kids or work). The “wonder” disappears. I just had an LJ exchange with a good friend about this. Here's my distilled version.

For those of you old enough to have friends in their 30’s+, try to remember those people back in college or high school who would once say, “Sure, I’d love to go to the comic store with you!” and who—years later—would look at you as if you just turned into dog-poop and say, “Why?!”

That’s calcification.

Calcification is the transition of former fans, artists and creative-types into people who have lost that sense of wonder-- the need to be creative. Most people eventually leave all that behind and become everyday men and women with jobs, kids and a happy --if mundane-- life. There was a time when I just could not understand how anyone could let that happen to them. Since then I've learned that it's not an active choice-- just something that happens. Other things have a higher priority and eventually they just forget about things like art and music. I've got a few very good friends who are heading down this path and while I'm sad to see them go, at least they're happy and unaware and busy entering a new phase of their lives. Likely we’ll see less and less of each other as the different priorities come with different friends.

Some people fight it, some go with the flow. Ultimately the question that needs to be addressed is: are you happy? Creativity is not a requisite for happiness. Personally, I could see myself drifting away from fandom/costuming/comics and into dog training-- an activity that is fun and can fill your free time if you let it.

Am I happy?

That's the rub: happiness is -very- subjective. People who are happy and lead ordinary lives -are- happy (let's ignore the ones who pretend they're happy). The calcification process is slow and subtle-- priorities change and you transition into another lifestyle. This doesn't mean you no longer do fun or creative things—in fact, you will shine when given the opportunity to be creative (decorating a cake for kids, office party themes, posters for fundraising booths, etc.).

I'm not saying that this transition from weird to mundane would make -me- happy: that's why I still fight it. But it can happen and it's neither good nor bad, just different.

To use a slightly different take: I look at the number of people who used to do art or take walks or DO stuff in the real world who now spend those hours happily playing WoW or Second Life. Those people are happy...they no longer do (or have cut down drastically) things that I believe are more worthwhile (walk, art, etc.), but they're not living for -my- happiness, so if they're happy that's that. None of them made a conscious decision to spend hours zombifying themselves in front of a computer and stop doing “real life” things, but they started playing and it was fun and soon that playing became more important than those things they used to spend that time doing.

Comments

[kamfan.livejournal.com]

I thought your post was very interesting- I don't see how or why some people are taking to it almost like you are making personal attacks. You were simply making an observation of things you see around you- and actually, I think I fit into some of those categories, myself.

In my case, though, I am aware of my lack of creativity. After the glory days of college, running around southern Cal without a care in the world, spending almost all day and all night either online or drawing, I suddenly found myself at that awkward age where you are in an awkward position where you are no longer a post-teen living on a college campus, receiving health care for being a full-time student and having housing and a cafeteria for your daily meals, but not a full-fledged adult either, with an established credit history, a steadfast career, or experience for handling 'adult' situations. Suddenly, I've got to take care of myself. Now. I got so wrapped up in holding down a full-time job, making rent, buying groceries, affording car repairs and trying to 'keep it together' that it got to the point where I was too exhausted and felt too hurried to sit down and draw. For a long time I was plagued with a guilt for it- especially when people would ask to see what I had done recently, and the most recent thing I had was done some two years ago or so. Then the guilt began to pass, and then was replaced with just not caring anymore. Eventually, I got to the point again where I began to worry- what if I never did art again? Even if it wasn't necessarily for a career- but what if I never did it again even for myself? I began to picture myself down the road as one of those mothers their kids like to brag to others about when they bring in a school project with art their mother did for it. I remember as a kid marvelling at some kids when they brought in drawings their mother did for their book report and thinking, 'Wow, some housewife and mother standing over a hot stove, wiping runny noses, sorting soiled laundry, going to PTA meetings and soccer matches, and nobody knows that she's a freaking awesome artist and probably could have done something with her talent...why didn't she?'

I can see it going both ways. I can see people leaving their creativity and their respect for simple pleasures and simple fun behind for what seems to many, a mundane, run-of-the-mill, no excitement life where they just shuffle through the years, going to work, raising the kids and paying the bills. But I see it going the other way, too, where it seems people are withdrawing from these normal, mundane lives and spending it completely detached from the real world and in a fantasy world they either find online, in video games, or in the countless discs of movies, cartoons, and anime that runs non-stop on their televisions in a room where they have crammed all the things they may ever need into it, so they don't ever have to leave it.

Whether one direction or the other brings them happiness, is up to them. Working non-stop and paying bills and worrying my head over keeping my credit pristine and barely getting any decent sleep doesn't sound like it could bring happiness, but it brings me happiness in knowing that I am self-sufficient, and that I can take care of myself and provide for myself both the things I want and need. Creativity brings me happiness, and indulgence in art, comics, anime, computers, etc. can be costly. So the fact that working hard helps secure the things I enjoy spending my money on, brings happiness.

I'm hoping in the near future, to find a very happy, optomistic balance between the time I HAVE to dedicate to working and mundane tasks with the time I WANT to dedicate to artwork and other fannish things. It's starting to fall into place, and my sketchbook is slowly but surely starting to fill up once again.

[furtech.livejournal.com]

True-- often situations dictate where we go as people. Sometimes harsh conditions force other necessary activities to completely overwhelm the fun stuff. That doesn't mean one can't return to that sense-of-wonder state of mind later, though. And that you are even thinking about this shows that the process hasn't really taken over completely. Not that either is better than the other as I'll re-iterate.