Calcification, revisited
May. 16th, 2007 11:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
furtechI once made a post about “calcification”. This is the transition of a person from having a fannish sense-of-wonder to a mundane with only a sense-of-rent (or kids or work). The “wonder” disappears. I just had an LJ exchange with a good friend about this. Here's my distilled version.
For those of you old enough to have friends in their 30’s+, try to remember those people back in college or high school who would once say, “Sure, I’d love to go to the comic store with you!” and who—years later—would look at you as if you just turned into dog-poop and say, “Why?!”
That’s calcification.
Calcification is the transition of former fans, artists and creative-types into people who have lost that sense of wonder-- the need to be creative. Most people eventually leave all that behind and become everyday men and women with jobs, kids and a happy --if mundane-- life. There was a time when I just could not understand how anyone could let that happen to them. Since then I've learned that it's not an active choice-- just something that happens. Other things have a higher priority and eventually they just forget about things like art and music. I've got a few very good friends who are heading down this path and while I'm sad to see them go, at least they're happy and unaware and busy entering a new phase of their lives. Likely we’ll see less and less of each other as the different priorities come with different friends.
Some people fight it, some go with the flow. Ultimately the question that needs to be addressed is: are you happy? Creativity is not a requisite for happiness. Personally, I could see myself drifting away from fandom/costuming/comics and into dog training-- an activity that is fun and can fill your free time if you let it.
Am I happy?
That's the rub: happiness is -very- subjective. People who are happy and lead ordinary lives -are- happy (let's ignore the ones who pretend they're happy). The calcification process is slow and subtle-- priorities change and you transition into another lifestyle. This doesn't mean you no longer do fun or creative things—in fact, you will shine when given the opportunity to be creative (decorating a cake for kids, office party themes, posters for fundraising booths, etc.).
I'm not saying that this transition from weird to mundane would make -me- happy: that's why I still fight it. But it can happen and it's neither good nor bad, just different.
To use a slightly different take: I look at the number of people who used to do art or take walks or DO stuff in the real world who now spend those hours happily playing WoW or Second Life. Those people are happy...they no longer do (or have cut down drastically) things that I believe are more worthwhile (walk, art, etc.), but they're not living for -my- happiness, so if they're happy that's that. None of them made a conscious decision to spend hours zombifying themselves in front of a computer and stop doing “real life” things, but they started playing and it was fun and soon that playing became more important than those things they used to spend that time doing.
For those of you old enough to have friends in their 30’s+, try to remember those people back in college or high school who would once say, “Sure, I’d love to go to the comic store with you!” and who—years later—would look at you as if you just turned into dog-poop and say, “Why?!”
That’s calcification.
Calcification is the transition of former fans, artists and creative-types into people who have lost that sense of wonder-- the need to be creative. Most people eventually leave all that behind and become everyday men and women with jobs, kids and a happy --if mundane-- life. There was a time when I just could not understand how anyone could let that happen to them. Since then I've learned that it's not an active choice-- just something that happens. Other things have a higher priority and eventually they just forget about things like art and music. I've got a few very good friends who are heading down this path and while I'm sad to see them go, at least they're happy and unaware and busy entering a new phase of their lives. Likely we’ll see less and less of each other as the different priorities come with different friends.
Some people fight it, some go with the flow. Ultimately the question that needs to be addressed is: are you happy? Creativity is not a requisite for happiness. Personally, I could see myself drifting away from fandom/costuming/comics and into dog training-- an activity that is fun and can fill your free time if you let it.
Am I happy?
That's the rub: happiness is -very- subjective. People who are happy and lead ordinary lives -are- happy (let's ignore the ones who pretend they're happy). The calcification process is slow and subtle-- priorities change and you transition into another lifestyle. This doesn't mean you no longer do fun or creative things—in fact, you will shine when given the opportunity to be creative (decorating a cake for kids, office party themes, posters for fundraising booths, etc.).
I'm not saying that this transition from weird to mundane would make -me- happy: that's why I still fight it. But it can happen and it's neither good nor bad, just different.
To use a slightly different take: I look at the number of people who used to do art or take walks or DO stuff in the real world who now spend those hours happily playing WoW or Second Life. Those people are happy...they no longer do (or have cut down drastically) things that I believe are more worthwhile (walk, art, etc.), but they're not living for -my- happiness, so if they're happy that's that. None of them made a conscious decision to spend hours zombifying themselves in front of a computer and stop doing “real life” things, but they started playing and it was fun and soon that playing became more important than those things they used to spend that time doing.
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no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 06:55 pm (UTC)You're making a BIG assumption that people who follow a more typical life have lost their creativity, instead of expressing it in different ways. I would also argue that people who have the same interests and motivations that they had as a 16 year old have not progressed much as a person.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 07:14 pm (UTC)This whole thing looks to be more philosohical than whiney; he's not saying it's a BAD thing, just a.......thing.
I guess the whistfullness is because often, the process occurs differently in different people, and friends drift apart because they no longer pursue the same interests or share the same hobbies. I have lots of friends who no longer cosplay and it's "sad" because we can no longer go to the same events and have fun, not because I feel sorry for them not making costumes anymore. They're happy and I'm happy, with our now different hobbies and lifestyles, but we can't be happy TOGETHER in the same way we used to be, because much of that was based around sharing of those hobbies. I'm not saying people with different interests can't be friends, not at all, but there are some "fannish" things which give you a lot of pleasure and which you can only share with fellow fans.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 07:42 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-05-17 09:20 am (UTC)let's also emphasize... the physical aspect of it, too.. there can be some of that 'calcification' if we're not careful.
Most people aren't aware of when they lost that innate desire to run thru Autumn leaves, or slide down a hillside. There should be an effort to retain some of that also (as you indicated perhaps with walks n hike-like adventures), in order to maintain good odds of quality of life later on, no matter what turns our mental interests take.
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 07:27 pm (UTC)And I'd have to argue that.
I share the same interests and motivations I did as a 16 year old, a decade later. It's made me a more creative person, seeing how I can work my new interests into the sphere of my old ones, and how that only rekindles my older passions.
I just roleplay a little more maturely now....
no subject
Date: 2007-05-16 07:41 pm (UTC)At the same time, you've got it right too: many don't lose that creative urge, just express it differently. Best example of this are many of the tech companies in the SF Bay Area (especially San Jose): there are people there who started or work at companies that have frisbee breaks, wildly inventive friday parties/bbq's/break-days and often allow pets (particularly dogs) at work. In a way they're looked on by "old companies" like they're still little kids (which they are, in spirit). So yeah-- creativity expressed in different ways.
What I was referring to, specifically, were those who make up so many of the people we encounter every day who can't remember what it's like to be a kid. "True" mundanes-- who are nice people, but would never walk into a comic shop or play in the mud with a dog or read a science fiction book. Kind of like Wendy's parents in "Peter Pan".
Some would say that Isaac Asimov had the same interests and motivations as he did when he was 16, but he's still considered "great". Depends on what those interests and motivations are.